I was diagnosed with Anxiety and depression 30 years ago, and when I think about those first 10 years, I offer much praise for the many victories towards mental health. My journey to mental and physical health has taken many turns since the first days, but the journey has been worth the time. I say this, because I am a stronger person today by battling the thief of my life. Mental turmoil caused me time away from enjoying Creation and all its beauty. While I am still grateful for the life that is within me, I do know the pain of isolation, and loosing the ability to truly live.
I remember being in such a deep depression that I could not even communicate with the loved ones around me. The power of the illness did not allow me to hear their words, I could only stare. Often, my family would make efforts to understand why I was in such a vegetated state, but I could not be reached. Although I do not remember the shift of focus from the life all around me, I do remember the invading whirlwind of thoughts oddly overpowering my mind. It felt as if life was happening all around me, but I could not join in. My focus was on the racing thoughts, and that became so constant that it was soon confusing. This eventually took me to a dark place – not able to enjoy my life at all.
I am thankful that someone introduced me to meditation, because this is the main source of my mental recovery. A therapist suggested that I listen to a meditation cd, and I soon learned of the healing properties available through this concept. I used the cd every night before sleep, and soon my focus shifted back to my surroundings and the people in my life. The more I dove into the meditation, the better the results. It is worth the investment of time, because consistent use yields so many benefits.
Today, meditation is still the greatest joy to me! Although I am not at the place I hope to be, I can say that I have found the source of inner peace. I love to allow the meditation to transform how I react to my anxiety – and all of the racing thoughts that come with it. Truly meditation has shown me peace inside, and not the turmoil of depression. It has become like night and day, I have the source of Creation inside of me allowing the victory.
I am glad that I have found my happy place, and hope that I have encouraged others. I know that I am not alone in this illness, so I offer this small part of my journey to those needing peace and calmness in their lives. I would also like to clarify that my journey has not been without medication and the professionals who are trained to help with mental health, but it would not be the same without finding inner peace through meditation.